Wednesday, June 11, 2008

America Hearts Chastity, Teenage Girls' Asses




Apparently these are flying off the shelves at Kmart stores nationwide. The headline of the New York Daily News reads: "Bottom line benefits as girls are hot to trot out chastity-pushing sweats." A more unlikely or nonsensical phrase would be hard to find, and it would've been funnier if they said "hot to trot out of chastity-pushing sweats."

It's nice to know that reinforcing that age-old American institution of restrictive gender roles can still turn a profit in today's floundering economy. Especially because all of our endless and complex national woes can all be traced to one thing: teenage girls having sex. Uncle Sam and God want all those virile young boys to have as much sex as they want, as long as the girls stay out of it and keep their sweats on.

3 comments:

merez said...

it's really not that tough being an American teenage girl...fuck lots of dudes' brains/semen out until their satisfied, then go to the gym and work on your 12-year-old figure and act a prude. Really now, it's a good thing our sweatpants and asses (and therefore WalMart) can speak for us, because we sure can't speak for ourselvse (we don't even know what to say!!!!!!!)

Anonymous said...

"it's nice to know that reinforcing that age-old American institution of restrictive gender roles can still turn a profit in today's floundering economy."

HA! YOU SLAY ME! thanks for this little gem as i get my fix o' your blog from the opposite hemisphere. i can't wait to sit opposite of you as you type out these little kernels of genius...

elsa said...

lol, e.j., lol.