modern love

me either, bro.

and as always, more here.

love! love! love!

for those of you following along from home, new things concerning matters of the heart have been posted here.

&then

The Crazy Never Die

HOLY SHIT!

I'm in Thailand!

You know what's pretty zany? The other side of the world.

While Twilight is big here and everyone seems to know Obama, this place is, in a word, different.

For example: most of the food is eaten without the use of forks or spoons, but peanuts are eaten with a spoon!

Also, bananas are peeled from the other end!

It's pretty commonplace to drink whiskey at 10:30 in the morning!

Also, it's really goddamn hot.

I'm one of a few white people in my city, aside from a couple crusty old British dudes. I've seen no other foreign women here outside of Bangkok.

I'm writing about things here. Even if I was getting made out with, hanging in opium dens, etc, I wouldn't be writing about that because other than the fact that that's tacky, I'm writing as a requirement for the org that sent me here (with baht from the Thai gov't). But I'm trying to keep it as lively as possible.

chat/write me @: emilyshortshorts@gmail.com.

hellhole ratrace [girls]

JULEZART

My talented and connected sister in wanting to have a good time all the time Molly does lots of zanily awesome art things for Cochella and asked me to design a piece for Julian Casablancas, one of my faves. I admit I almost died when presented with the chance to make something that will end up in the hands of JC, who has topped my list of currently breathing ballers since I was about sixteen. So hopefully he'll think it's kind of really fucking awesome.

"Yalls faith has got to be greater than your fear. " -- JC

Here it is:






Also, I'm currently available for hire, world.

Set yourself on fire: SxSW

Hey friends. I was in Austin Texas last week for the week of insanity and Lonestar that is possibly the biggest music festival in the US, SXSW. 6th Street, the Bourbon Street of Austin, was flooded twenty four hours a day for a week with musicians, tattoos, free beer, cops and drunks and I barely went to bed before 6 am all week. Molly and I biked our way through the masses and along with a bunch of other radasses from OKC and Philly definitely achieved our dual goals of experiencing something real and having a good time all the time.

I know this event is criminally underreported so I thought I'd write about it on my weblog. So to recap, here were some highlights of the madness:

Checked out Sleepy Sun's Thursday afternoon show and suddenly wasn't bummed anymore about not being in San Francisco in 1969 cause it was right in front of me. They do NOT half-ass their commitment to sixties psychedilia and anybody who is that into their trip gets snaps from me. They brought out the Austin Children's Choir who rocked the tent AND they did a cover of the Guess Who's "No Sugar Tonight/ New Mother Nature," an epochal song of its era. The singer sounded EXACTLY like Burton Cummings too, for an added bonus. I was in heaven. Here's kind of what the show was like:



This is exactly what America should be in 2010. Love it. We also started a butt-touching contest in the middle of 6th street. The Sleepy Sun tent was full of olds who we later realized were parents of the children's choir. Some of the dads left pretty excited, as did a cop and multiple other passersby (I totally lost but did get some Abercrombie-with-girlfriend-next-to-him butt, which has gotta count for something.)

Whqles played at a friend's houseparty and although their name looks like a t9 typo, they were great. (hey Whqles, if you're reading this, Molly and I were the ones sitting in front of your set-up and snapping our necks). I haven't stopped listening to their EP even though it's only about 10 minutes long. Check out their space for more. Recommedations: "Sum of All Evils pt 2" and "JG," a cover of John Lennon's "Jealous Guy." And this video is kind of what their live show was like-- full of glow in the dark paint, fast, loud and impossible not to like. I have no idea what's going on in LA and never cared but now I'm curious.


Another great was seeing Mariachi El Bronx at Mess With Texas. (LA hardcore band's The Bronx mariachi side project). They put on a tight set and showed some love to the crowd.




We (thirteen people piled into a five seater with a trunk) also tried to go to a party at the UT co-ops that Andrew WK was headlining and was sure to guarantee trancendence over space and time. But instead of understanding how "to create a dynamic so that we can appreciate beauty and joy and pleasure" (seriously, read that interview linked above. it will change your life), our only lesson learned was not to show up to a party that Andrew WK is playing at 2 am (40s and facepaint got in the way, as usual). The only time I've seen more humans in one place crawling up and down stairs and around railings is between at-bats at Fenway Park when the Yankees are in town (try using a sports metaphor today!). All I could think of was a bunch of people had sex in the 80s and this is what happened. Apparently AWK did show up to play a set at 5 am. Next time, bro.

DID get to see Woods at the Magic Hat party (woooot VT) on the Lawn of the French Legation. One of my faves since their 2006 album How to Survive in the Woods, they did not dissapoint. I only wish that their set was longer and that they played "Military Madness", but then I would have been crying all over myself and the lawn.

Lone Star was the unofficial sponsor of the experience and I'm pretty sure it's since replaced most of my blood. We spent a lot of time at Shangri La, the bar that Bill Murray ended up bartending at, but missed it. I think I can still die without regret.

We ALSO ended up at some party in "the hills" (I think every city not on the east coast has a super exclusive neighborhood full of Range Rovers called "the hills") completely full of tweens on spring break and two untapped kegs. Needless to say the kegs were emptied before we left and a few packages of fruit snacks were missing. Also, lower back tats [I hate the term "tramp stamp"] are still popular?

Speaking of tweens and unintentional hilarity, Molly and I also worked the Keep A Breast table at the Alternative Press show. It's an awesome organization that educates teens about prevention and early detection of breast cancer, and middle- and high-school kids across America are now wearing "I <3> boobies" bracelets and t-shirts. The org is endorsed and promoted by Circa Survive (I am happily older than 12 and have no idea who this band is), Angels and Airwaves and a bunch of other huge acts of a genre (post-dashboard screamo tweencore?) that no one born after 1992 could understand. We met about 600 people that looked like variations of this:

Like all things that make life worth showing up for, it was horrific and hilarious at the same time. And quite possibly the best form of birth control I've encountered yet.

We also checked out some metal at Primo's, a bar in a formerly Mexican neighborhood (weird, an American city is having problems with gentrification?), which I don't really "get." Don't know if it's because I'm a girl or because I wasn't super alienated in high school. Either way, it's kind of a bummer. I wish I could get into metal. It's one of my resolutions for 2010.

Also, does your city have a magazine that is primarily concerned with squids, jorts, beards and beers? I didn't think so, which is why you need to check out Misprint Magazine. On its agenda is ending live music in Austin. Zany fun for the whole family. If they're all jaded drunks. (And whose family isn't?)

The moral of SXSW story is: forget standing in line for 4 hours to see She and Him. Get on a bike, grab some free beers and jump into a bar, venue or house party just to see what's going on. They might not suck.

ALSO every town in America should have taco trucks.