just another tuesday evening.

Girls started tackling boys. People kibbitzed about the future of news, and the role of race in the arts. Someone cried, then proceeded to breakdance. Halloween candy was thrown into the air. Everyone was singing. It probably looked like some Ken Kesey-ian Acid Test.






[the awl]

2 pm in BKK/// 3 am EST

me: whatchu doin
Meredith: just got home from 90s night
wtf
smooched on a cheek or something
me: with who?
Meredith: this bro. think i coulda gone to the bz
but "didn't want to' because i thought he was gay/i can do better
me: ooooh jaja
im in bangkok last night
i mean now
Meredith: LOLLLL
me: i cant speak ebnglish anymore
Meredith: fjjhahahah
did you see meteors?
me: no!
Meredith: !!!!
perseid meteor showah
me: ahhh so i heard
Meredith: saw 13 shooting stars last night
i wished on them
but they were
oh wait
they were shooting stars
meredith feat. billy bragg
YAYYY
what's that book called based on blade runner?
sorry so drunk/excited right now
do androids dream of electric sheep?
me: do androids dream of electric sheep
YOU OWE ME A COKE!
Meredith: you read it?
kinda want to get into sci fi
me: yeah-- also, children of men SO GOOD
Meredith: wtf are there actually no original ideas left from which to make a 'film'?
me: well, niception
Meredith: niception was kinda lame
me: i sort of h8 leo
Meredith: he's a good actor but i dunno
me: hes fat
Meredith: miss u boner days
me: totally miss boner
Meredith: did you know that bloopers used to be called boners????
me: is that in an encyclopedia or something?
Meredith: nah i saw a record today about some 'great boners' or like 'funniest boners'
me: great boners
Meredith: teh fast and teh furious boners
me: fast and furious boners
Meredith: american beauty boner reelz
me: i kind of hate movies, i think
Meredith: h8 action movies
me: omg the action in children of men is S0 SICK
like, the angles are insane.
super long takes
long takes or shorts?
Meredith: you mean shots?
no long shorts alowed
me: ack have you ever seen kermit as a director?
or maybe it's a producer
Meredith: kermit thee frog?
me: gah sad, no pics of kermit's afro on the internets
prollz gonna go drink a beer

Gettin Paid

Dear Emily,

I wanted to let you know that I am bored out of my goddamn mind. Also, I printed off and filled out an application for food stamps while on the clock. What do you think of that?

Love,

Kate


Dear Kate,

Thank you for your correspondence.

I think that filling out an application for foodstamps whilst on the clock is a goddamn ingenious move. I didn't know you could do that on the internets and have been too lazy to get over their office. And by lazy I also mean embarrassed. For our country. And I also mean drunk.

You may also want to look into getting to food banks. They might even have cereal!

love&we should bring booze to work next time,

Emily

alt condition

me: i have offish od'ed on work

Meredith: i hear you

me: will def. quit working before quit drinking.

Meredith: yeah i guess the more you drink the more you hate work

and the more you hate work the more you want to drink

because you could be drinking instead of working!

me: you summed up the modern human condition. in sad america.

Meredith: yuck.

me: jagee rocked the drunk. and then died.

Meredith: yeah well. that means he rocked it, no?

me: toootally. he was hella authentic.

Meredith: oh man

me: one of the first altbros. privileged, was just tryna experience something real, did. raged against his parents, bucked conventional norms, f'ed tha system, spread his seed, died drunk and a legend.

Meredith: altbro indeed

well on that note, time for a meeting!

Meta Monday (Just Another)

me: hows monday?

Meredith: ughghghgh

me: i hear ya sister. work really does get in the way of being a human being.

Meredith: mhm

happiness is a second priority

me: happiness is a warm gun

or a full beer

or an empty one

Meredith: ooooo

mmm

a cold beer and a warm gun

and a drunken shooting rampage

oops

me: the feds are reading this now

google is evil

but gchat does make for some good blog fodder

Meredith: hahah definitely

i love those posts

me: of course i consider the rest of the world rabidly devouring our virtual exchanges: the nature of the blog.

PLUS:

I literally talked to this guy today on the phone at work:

Life really is what happens when you're making other plans.

On the Clock

"Work": exchanging emails with the person who sits on the other side of the partition that separates desks.

He: shoot my brain please.

Me: don't think intra-office violence is accepted, but yeah, want to die/puke/go to sleep.

might leave early today, ie now.

He: if i could have traveled to the future when i was 18 and seen what im doing now, i would have beat the shit out of myself.

Me: that keeps me up at night. Bills kind of get in the way of being a badass. at least its only temporary, before permanent unemployment.

He: i'm absolutely doomed. god, this is depressing. im getting drunk tonight....

Me: we all are, but doomed is pretty ok when it means getting d with friends. i guess there are worse things.

He: Im gettin so d tonight. well maybe if i can mooch some drinks. hahha

Me: iLLz. always good to take advantage of friends with money. also, whats your sign?

He: i'll be illin super hard tonight. im a cancer that's why i smoke. why? are you into astrology? tell me some good news or something. or some sage advice perhaps?

Me: CANCER [June 21–July 22] As I compose this, I'm sitting in San Francisco's Chinatown, dining on something called a Milky Golden Prize Delight Bun. And, I'm thinking, I bet it's going to be a kind of Milky Golden Prize Delight week for you Cancerians, a Sweet, Creamy, Lusty Elixir week, a Rich, Thick, Tasty Brilliance week. If you can manage it, I suggest you try to have a dream in which you find a morsel of the sun in a bowl of pudding, and savor it while listening to the full moon sing you a lullaby.

! this guy's good... he knows you're gonna get paid/ill.

He: This is worst fucking horoscope I have ever read....

Me: cancers dont know good advice when they hear it.

and if you ever want to feel better about your own life, at least you're not any of these embarrassing humans: http://personals.villagevoice.com/