Meta- Licious

In this post, I will write on the internet about how f-ed up the internet is.*
I recently received an email from register@facebook.com regarding an account I had de-activated 17 MONTHS AGO.
The email claimed: "You recently tried to log into your deactivated account. "
No Mark Zuckerberg, I did not. Stop trying to manipulate me, you master of puppets.

I followed the link, which lead me to my former facebook.com account, which remained completely untouched since March 2006. The last "wall" post was from a friend quoting Peter Griffin. It is this ability to self-consciously display one's vast knowledge of all things current and "cool" with the aim of impressing one's peers, and other hallmarks of self-aggrandizing behavior fostered by a childhood of lack of parenting and self-loathing that mark thefacebook.com as the pinnacle of modern civilization!
The account was from a network I no longer belong to and connected to people I no longer know, but it was preserved like a tomb... of the undead!!! One click and I was back in action as my former virtual existence awakened from its slumber. (I could draw a million parallels between this and the Matrix or some other watered-down pop-culture references to Baudrillard, but I don't actually care). It seemed only appropriate to stalk former points of interest, now not actually interesting at all, aside from photos in which they are seen making out with dogs and plants.
The moral of the story is that facebook.com preserves each and every bit of information ever imported onto the site, probably for the rest of time. Zuckerberg currently has no plans to sell facebook, but who knows what nefarious, ne'er do well billionaire hands this information could fall into twenty years from now. And that's pretty disconcerting. What 20-year-old will possibly have a chance at being president in 30 or 40 years, with all of these digital skeletons floating around without a virtual closet to hide in?!? What books will people write when everyone spends 10 hours a day looking at photos of their ex's new girlfriend in a tube top? ad nauseum.

This is a good article:
http://www.slate.com/id/2168872/



*Obviously, the hypocrisy of this is that the internet is represented here as a force now too great to overcome**, as I could write this in a book but then no one would ever see it. This then also makes reference to my inflated perception of my own self-importance, which I will defend by blaming western society and that the only form of trancendence we can aspire to is fame, preferably as an internet-celebrity-turned-VH1-talking-head who riffs on the state of Jennifer Aniston's cargo pants.

** Is the internet the new God?? The concept is impossible to escape, we believe it holds the answers, we preach about it to those without it, those who don't believe in it are burned at the stake, etc.