Too Hot For the New York Times!!! (updated)

Back when I was a wee lassie, full of naive hope and aspirations for the future, I believed in striking out into the world and making a furious mark on it. The chance came in August 2007, in the form of an essay contest from the New York Times, that ancient, prestigious publication that's about to go belly-up because we're more interested in Joey Fatone's game show endeavors than the detrimental effects of globalization on disenfranchised people and nations.
"So, Generation Y," the Times proclaimed, "forget your ipods and skateboards for a second and think about why you suck so much! There's a war going on and you've sprained your elbow from playing Nintendo Wii!! I used to hang out with Henry Miller!!!!!" (not a direct quote.)
An article was posted http://nytimes.com/marketing/collegeessay/essay.html to which readers could respond. (a heartwarming little wagging finger in the face that succeeds in making you want to drop out of college, the U.S. and the world.)
Respond this reader did indeed, and did not win the fame, glory and resume booster (i.e. inflated sense of self-worth) that comes with an NYT byline (Hellooo, Harvard Business School!!! I like globalization! I promise!). But alas, the following irrational and unprovable proclamations cannot be kept under wraps a second longer so will be published EXCLUSIVELY on my weblog.
Read, weep, cheer, and join me this second weekend of June, 2008 for alcholic beverages and lite fare in lieu of the high school reunion that I will not be attending for the crippling shame of no major national publications or PhD. (fun fact: the "Organization Kid" Perlstein mentions in his article went to my high school! Thanks, $120,000 high school education!)

[article removed]

Update 9/11/07: Just received an email from a head at the New York Times. Seems they are publishing even the losers' (sorry, "non-winners") essays. It's like the NYT heard my whining about how they think I'm talentless and therefore was suffering from a lack of self-worth, which will prohibit happiness and productivity in the office later in life, not to mention be a strain on the nation's tax dollars in 2047 when I need a quadruple bipass after years of comfort-eating (not that there will be any U.S. or tax dollars or arteries in 2047) .
The NYT realizes all "Gen Y"ers feel entitled to a prize since we all got trophies in youth soccer even for sucking. (seriously, when I was six my team DIDN'T SCORE A GOAL ALL SEASON and we still all got trophies.) Anyway, the information superhighway has strict rules and I don't want to get virtually pulled over by someone working for the NYT so I removed the article. I'll be back here in a few weeks to post the link to the voices of a (de)generation.