Plaid Pantry, 8:23 pm

Yesterday I noticed that Bob Dylan's gnarled face is on the cover of Rolling Stone's suddenly anorexic pages. Next to Rolling Stone at my neighborhood convenience store sat a few copies of Maxim, the magazine for sad men who don't know how to have sex with other people. This month's issue features Jennifer Love Hewitt in her "sexiest shoot ever," who was, a cursory glance revealed, voted as America's favorite pin-up or something. And I wondered what Jennifer Love Hewitt "thinks" about the fact that a bunch of American males who watch the "game" every week in their suburban apartment complexes, hope to be promoted to middle management one day, and enjoy TGIFriday's spicy wings have decided that she is their most desired human object.