I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I've recently "whored out my blog" by putting google ads on it. I wish I could say that it's because I thought the ads/whoring would be funny/ironic/cause infighting among my more fervent readers, but I really just wanted some cash. So I checked a bunch of boxes (electronically) saying that I wouldn't talk about the ads or something, along with a lot of other stuff I didn't bother to read. I checked the other day to see how many thousands of dollars Uncle Google had waiting for me, and imagine my surprise when I checked the statement and saw that I have seventeen cents marked with my name on it. Sick. I can almost buy a postcard stamp by virtue of my wit and wiles, thanks to you, the readers.
While this really is an indescribably handsome feather in my cap, I've been brainstorming other ways to "increase traffic" on my weblog, so I can make more money and buy more things. My first thought was to violate all terms and conditions of the contract I have with google blogs, so I will get sued, creating a media frenzy in the tradition of the celebrated "David and Goliath" story line, and I will be able to pay my lawyers with the ad revenue I bring in from increased mainstream media attention, and then probably get a job talking on VH1's lowest-rated program. But I think there may be other new and exciting ways to "up the ante" around here, and I wanted to open it up to you, the readers, in order to better give you what I want. Sometimes I feel like "just another blog in the wall" and I know this blog could be so much more. I don't even have a book deal yet. Help me get to the coffee tables of Urban Outfitters shoppers!
Do you think I should increase pro-American sentiment to appeal to a broader audience? Should I post more suggestive photos of underage girls engaged in salacious acts? Should I start a gimmick, like something having to do with "cool" or "not cool" tattoos? Should I get some tattoos? Should I open up a poll and have readers vote on which tattoo I should get, and where? Should I sell drugs on my blog? Should I just post this hour's viral youtube video? Should I start "investigative reporting" on youth culture and sexting? Or should I just stick to transcendence of space and time and the mainstream, and complete coverage of the latest in denim wear?
Let me know, readers, and I'll be happy to accommodate you.
Thanks,
Remix Mountain
Remix Mountain promises more cool art like this in the future!
3 comments:
You're hilarious. I did notice the ads and was thoroughly confused. I think we can get you to VH1 as a low budget commentator. And I think the best way to do so is to sell drugs on your blog. I know I would buy.
i think we all know that sxt sells.
maybe advertise for Verizon since they have really good service so no matter where you are a picture of an insecure vag will be sure to reach the inbox of a pathetically vulnerable and horny young boy.
also keep posting arts and mind explosions and wit. <3 u miss u
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