So Much Better than a New Look

What you really need to be superfically admired this fall by people who you don't know is a hot new vocabulary! Everyone knows that dialect is the new wardrobe. Don't get stuck in the verbal equivalent of an Abercrombie logo T and high-heeled Steve Maddens.
Here are the hottest new words for Fall 2007.

Metallurgical: adj, manipulative. "I don't care what that metallurgical media says. George Bush is such a good guy."

Phantasmagorical: adj, made up of many elements. "My new neighbor is so phantasmagorical... he has dreds AND wears women's jeans!!!"

Miscellany: noun, a much needed replacement of the term shit. As in "This weekend I spent $400 on fuel for my car and illegal miscellany. It was so RUSSE!!"

Russe: adj, cool, sweet, rad, deck. "My existential crisis this week was so russe. I realized my entire life is meaningless, so I decided to start a blog."

Spas Modicum: SPAZ mod-E-cum. verb, to lose the will to live. "I spas modicum when I watch a reality show and the winner says he will buy a camouflage Lamborghini with the prize money that he wins for answering remedial math questions correctly. And the entire audience cheers for him."

Orion: noun, god among men. "This Orion is an environmental writer with glasses and a beard. I really respect him as a person."

Base: adj, douchey, possessing tool-like qualities. "I know irony is the only russe we have left, but I find it really morally abject, completely base and devoid of any worth to humanity."